CINEQUEST/SXSW REVIEWS: Ben Kawaller's comedy pilot "This Isn't Me" finds the funny and brightness in the small jokes while navigating darker situations

There’s a lot to say about the opening pilot for “This Isn’t Me.” For one it’s a breath of fresh air. It’s breezy and laughable as our goofy protagonist wheels us through his first chaotic day as a tutor. In a single day he manages to land a job, get invited to pee on another guy, and help a young child come out as transgender. This Isn’t Me does a marvelous job at maintaining it’s light-hearted comedy and making formerly heady topics part of the everyday without ever batting an eyelash.

Ben Kawaller plays Fred, the lovable mid-20’s gay man still trying to put his life together. Even though he makes lists like “Self-actualize, go to gym” he sleeps through those moments and texts a love prospect. He’s not a slacker per se, he’s just trying to figure it out. This fateful day brings him a real job, something he desperately needs in order to pay rent. While Fred attempts to pull off being a tutor for a young boy who identifies as a woman he’s also pounding a gallon of water because he has a date later that night with someone into renal.

“This Isn’t Me”

It’s everything that could be adult and intense: villainous parents, a child uncomfortable in their non-gender-conformative sexuality, a gay man attempting new fetishes. Still this show makes light of these conversations by laughing at the small jokes. When Fred takes the interview with his new boss, Karen (played by Jessica Porter), she asks if he needs a “bywhen” meaning a deadline. That running gag of corporate doublespeak, dumbed down to the point of babyspeak, pokes light-hearted fun and invites the audience to breathe for a second. Yes there’s darker comedy like parents failing to address their child in the appropriate manner or Alan, the kid, choosing the name Lorraine instead of Allison.

Those could be dark moments but in director Adrian Rojas Elliott’s hands it plays as sweet and sensitive. The show entirely dodges drafty conversations or harrowing gender harassment, focusing on a day in Fred’s life. Whether the subjects therein should be treated so seriously are beyond my purview, but it feels exciting to see these characters interact and rebound off each other without all the sobbing and scolding.

Fred (Ben Kawaller) does some counseling in “This Isn’t Me”

It helps that the episode is literally bursting to the seams with light. Whether driving down a highway, waking up in bed, or tutoring a child the pilot fills with natural light. Sunlight filters in as if every window ever was wide open. The camera locks off into perfect angles and bounces around only when necessary. It’s a simply constructed work that redirects focus to it’s story and prevents us from feeling distracted at all.

It’s a tonally consistent work despite being so widely varied in content. The jokes span a range of PG to hard R so there’s an impressive breadth of comedy. Writer (and lead actor) Ben Kawaller breathes his character to life with gusto and doesn’t let the intense scenes distract from his fun. Watch this if you can find it at another fest. I know that I’ll be curious to see more of this show as it develops. “This Isn’t Me” is available on the SXSW showcase.