Jon Nix and Justin Pearson talk about DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF, a documentary on Pearson’s life and the San Diego Punk scene

When he’s asked what kind of music he makes, Justin Pearson usually responds with one word: “Annoying.” It’s a way to shut down conversation with the kinds of people who wouldn’t understand, but perhaps open dialogue with fellow provocateurs. Best known for his grindcore band The Locust, Pearson is the focus of Jon Nix’s new documentary, Don’t Fall in Love With Yourself. Adding industrial elements to hardcore and punk, along with performances that involved costumes and frequent vomiting, The Locust pushed boundaries in the late ’90s and early aughts when the mainstream was all about the boy bands and pop divas.

The band ended when drummer Gabe Serbian died, but the documentary preserves their anarchic energy. In that spirit, we had the chance to ask Nix and Pearson ten questions…and ended up going over. Rules are meant to be broken, right?

1. Films Gone Wild: As someone who has directed music videos, did you feel it was only natural to make a music doc your first feature, or was it a more difficult/less obvious decision than that?

John Nix: I love music. I’ve always been pretty intense about music. I’ve tried my hand at a lot of other artforms and kind of know how the sausage is made when it comes to things like film, writing, painting, etc. But music is something I’ve never truly attempted. So it’s still kind of magic to me in a lot of ways. I also think it’s the most experiential artform. You can intellectualize it but I think the way music connects to most people is mostly unconscious. Different sounds can trigger deep emotional reactions in people that don’t require a whole lot of story building or context the way other types of art do. Why do I get chills when How Soon is Now? comes on? So I naturally gravitate to it as a subject. Having done music videos and having connections in that world only made it easier to get the film off the ground.

2.FGW: Did you know Justin Pearson already? What was it that first made you think the larger world needed to know more about him?

JN: Yeah, we became friends when I was about 19. We hung out at one of his shows and kept in touch. It became a friendship. When I was a teenager I found out about The Locust and all of the lore around that world. So I knew it was a compelling story that felt like it should already have a documentary about it. But one didn’t exist yet. I think any insular subculture that leans into extremity is ripe for a film. People are fascinated by specificity. So I sat back assuming someone would inevitably make it, and honestly assumed there was someone more qualified than me to do it. But there was a gap in the projects I was working on and one day I just decided to ask Justin if he’d be okay with me doing a documentary on him, and to my surprise he was into it.

3. FGW:As a college radio host in the ’90s, I used to think the future of music was grindcore and noise; instead, it went to boy bands somehow. Having documented The Locust up close, what do you find is the response out there like right now?

JN: Weirdly, I had the same view! I’ve been saying it a lot as we’ve been rolling the film out. Music feels to me like it’s finally catching up to what The Locust was doing. I think the world of punk and metal has become much more snotty, clever, queer and radically political. There are a lot of bands playing right now that have very similar attitudes to Three One G bands, and are doing really well, because I think audiences have gotten smarter. I think it’s amazing that bands like Wormrot are being covered by Rolling Stone. You have bands like The HIRS Collective and Black Dresses cultivating big audiences. Hyperpop has integrated industrial elements into pop music. It’s really exciting right now.

4. FGW: Does it feel primed for a comeback?

Justin Pearson: Awe, I never know what the heck is going on. The term “comeback” is questionable on its own. I was recently asked to join a band playing bass, where over the last couple decades the main songwriter has been sued by numerous ex band members for various stuff, as well as sued by various women in relation to accusations of rape and abuse. I’m always shocked when someone can make a “comeback” from anything, especially a pretty brutal list of stuff. Granted, I guess they are accusations, but I have no interest in being part of a comeback of any kind, sketchy or not. I would prefer something new, and as part of a future that isn’t seeped in bullshit. Piggybacking off of what Jon Nix said, referencing artists like HIRS Collective, I think there is a cooler and more interesting avenue to explore opposed to heading back down a busted up road that has no garbage collection. 

5. FGW: Justin, how much of the footage in the film is archival, and how much was filmed specifically at your behest?

JP: I’m not sure of the percentages, but I had a ton of archival footage for Jon to use. Aside from the interview footage, the new stuff was some of the reenactment scenes he and his crew shot, as well as a couple live performances. 

6. FGW: Jon, to the extent that it’s archival, is Justin the kind of guy who keeps all his old footage, or did it take a lot of tracking down?

JN: Yeah, pretty quickly after he agreed to do the doc he sent me a huge box of VHS tapes and Mini-DV tapes that I spent around 6 months importing and organizing. Everything was very well labeled. I never felt confused about what I was watching. Justin is a very organized person. I think it’s part of why he’s had such longevity.

7. FGW: The way the death of Gabe is handled, as a post-credits “in memoriam,” comes as a shock to viewers who don’t know the band and come to the movie cold. Can you tell me a bit about the decision to do it that way?

JN: Gabe passed away around the time that the edit was being finished up. He got to see a mostly finished cut, which still means a lot to me. Justin and I felt like it was obvious to dedicate the film to him. He’s such a huge part of the story and of Justin’s life.

8. FGW: Did you not want to talk about it?

JP: I wasn’t aware that it seemed cold. I personally felt the opposite, but I’m also extremely emotionally invested in Gabe’s life and legacy, so I may see things a bit differently. I think my only critique of the film, in relation to Gabe passing, is that the film generally should have been about him, [as] opposed to me. When Gabe left this planet it was made abundantly clear to me just how special he was and certainly how much of an impact he’s made on people. But regardless, the film was basically done when Gabe passed and Jon and I felt that we needed to address what happened in some way. I suppose one can always say it could be better, about anything that someone created, such as a film, or album. But we all did our best with such a serious and monumental incident. 

9. FGW: How does the band’s music factor into editing the movie? Do you try to edit picture to match their tracks at all, or maybe try to find tracks that fit your narrative rhythm?

JN: When I first started the edit I was thinking about trying to match the music aesthetically, but to do that I think the film would end up looking something like Tetsuo: The Iron Man. I could feel myself trying to sing in someone else’s voice. So I went back to allowing myself to react to the footage naturally. I wanted the music to speak for itself and for the live footage to be mostly unencumbered with overediting. Most of the music that plays throughout the non-archival sections is the score that was done by Luke Henshaw (Planet B), Alex Edkins (Metz) and Graham Walsh (Holy Fuck).

10. FGW: How do you decide how many puking scenes is not too much, not too little, but just right?

JN: This was actually something I went back and forth on quite a bit. I got notes from some people to cut it back. I got some notes saying add more. So I eventually got to the place where it is. I’m really proud of that section. In a lot of ways I think it really encapsulates the feeling of that world. I didn’t want to look away. I wanted to leave that to the audience. It’s horrifying and nauseating, but hilarious and endearing. Those moments give me the same feelings as Jackass when I watch that. I want to be friends with these people but I don’t want to stand too close.

JP: I know I wasn’t asked about this, but I’d like to interject. Gabe hated the fact that he puked so much when playing, but for reasons beyond anyone in The Locust, everyone loved it. Well, except for the people who’d have to clean it up, or force Gabe to clean it up.  

11. FGW: Jon, were you a fan of The Locust before coming to the project? What sort of music are you drawn to generally?

JN: Yeah, I was listening to The Locust for over a decade before asking Justin to make the film. The Locust was one of the bands that opened me to whole new worlds of music. I got really into math rock, no wave and jazz after getting into them. I have pretty eclectic music taste. I listen to a little of everything. “Scaring the Hoes” by Danny Brown and JPEGMafia has been a constant this past year. I love When No Birds Sang, the collaborative 9/11 concept album Full of Hell and Nothing dropped last year. The list of original songs Jane Schoenbrun commissioned forI Saw the TV Glow is pretty staggering. Easily the best soundtrack in years.

12. FGW: Popcorn or candy?

JN: Both.

JP: I’ll go with popcorn, but with Nutritional Yeast please.

DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF is available on Amazon.

Jon Nix and Justin Pearson talk about DON’T FALL IN LOVE WITH YOURSELF, a documentary on Pearson’s life and the San Diego Punk scene